Monday Minute 006

The Monday Minute! is a new series that will provide weekly updates for loyal readers on the titles that have been added to the Jumjax™ Database and our newly accessible IMDb tracking lists.

Jumjax™ Database: New Additions

I think this system has been working really well. 

• Films and Television Shows That Utilize Jumping Jacks
• Films and Television Shows That Do Not Utilize Jumping Jacks

The newly added titles are as follows:

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - 181 minutes

Let me just start out this review by saying that we at FNB (me, Frank) is a big, big fan of time travel. I am also a fan of throw backs and nostalgia. It was fun to travel through time to see Natalie Portman and others in their roles from previous Marvel Cinematic Universe flicks. Paul Rudd (Scott Lang (Ant-man)) and Evangeline Lily (Hope van Dyne (Wasp)) are also some of my favorite super heroes of the Avengers Initiative (with Scott seeming like the most likely hero to use jumping jacks, as an everyman like myself). The movie did have dabbing and Fortnite, but these felt like forced "consumer" jokes. Imagine instead if we encouraged exercise by having jumping jacks! The youths would be better off, and it could still be done in a funny way. Was hoping we could at least see some jumping jacks in training sequences, but disappointed again. 5/10. Recommended for people looking for a couple good performances from some actors and some fun time travel sequences and throw backs even if it may be lacking in further substance.

Dragonheart: Battle for the Heartfire (2017) - 98 minutes

It has a dragon which was kind of cool, and some scale-y characters. However, they weren't very relatable even though they were meant to be the protagonists. Partially because they had dragon scales and fire bending/super strength abilities (and I do not), but also because they didn't come across as relatable or even friendly for that matter. I have an idea for something to fix that!... 1/10. Not recommended.

Tokyo Drifter (1966) - 82 minutes

Yakuza gangsters running and gunning for each other, and the intrigue of betrayals. The use of color and staging was fairly impressive, but (a recurring complaint you are familiar with): would it hurt the studio to throw in an exercise/training sequence with jumping jacks? The great exercise--which can be done anywhere--is good for mind and body and would make the gangsters better understood and more approachable. 1/10. Not recommended.

Game of Thrones (2011- ): Season 8, Episode 3 [TV]

This week there was a big battle, which everyone on the internet seems excited about, but I am left with a sour taste in my mouth! These people claim to be kings and queens and knights, but they have terrible battle tactics! They wasted a lot of lives in my humble opinion. They needed more interesting tactics and better preparation. And could have done with some scenes showing the characters prepping for the battle/struggling to stay awake and using jumping jacks to do so. I will try again next week. Series rating: 1/10. Not recommended at this moment (rating may change if narrative builds to something more dynamic in future episodes--still unworthy in current state). 

Keep your eyes peeled.

xxoo, always yours

-Frank

Monday Minute 005

The Monday Minute! is a new series that will provide weekly updates for loyal readers on the titles that have been added to the Jumjax™ Database and our newly accessible IMDb tracking lists.

Jumjax™ Database: New Additions

You know the drill. 

• Films and Television Shows That Utilize Jumping Jacks
• Films and Television Shows That Do Not Utilize Jumping Jacks

The newly added titles are as follows:

The Unicorn (2018) - 88 minutes

Nothing doing here. I would have thrown out the story they went with. Instead of the parents unknowingly inspiring the daughter and her boyfriend to look for a threesome to liven up their relationship, they should have done something more real and relatable like being very physically active and healthy eaters. If they wanted to keep it weird they could have made it doing jumping jacks in public places and feeding off the weird looks people give them. That would definitely be a great bonding activity, and would be funny as well. Nick should have asked me to look over his script first. 1/10. Not recommended.

Time Bandits (1981) - 110 minutes

I'm beginning to notice a trend with films directed by Terry Gillam: no jumping jacks. And this one even featured a child actor and even a slapstick play for Napolean to boot! The perfect recipe for jumping jack activity in my opinion. Alas. 1/10. Not recommended.

Game of Thrones (2011- ): Season 8, Episode 2 [TV]

Another week, another week of the internet going crazy about this show, another episode where nothing really happens. Lots of talking and walking around. Altough it does feel like a few of these characters may be planning something big, so maybe things will turn around soon. Are these not knights and warriors? Should they not be doing some fitness regimens to be prepped physically for the coming battle against the undead? Speaking of the undead, the undead are more lively than this. Still no jumping jacks. Series rating: 1/10. Not recommended at this moment (rating may change if narrative builds to something more dynamic in future episodes--still unworthy in current state). 

Another week indeed..

xxoo, always yours

-Frank

Monday Minute 004

The Monday Minute! is a new series that will provide weekly updates for loyal readers on the titles that have been added to the Jumjax™ Database and our newly accessible IMDb tracking lists.

Jumjax™ Database: New Additions

Just one new addition this update (and a further explanation). 

• Films and Television Shows That Utilize Jumping Jacks
• Films and Television Shows That Do Not Utilize Jumping Jacks

The newly added title is as follows:

Tampopo (1985) - 114 minutes

The internet goes crazy about ramen, so this movie is one many may enjoy. It's a Ramen Western! Ha ha. Mixed with strange vignettes that are unrelated to the main story. Would it have been so hard to include something else the internet goes crazy about? (Jumping jacks.) They would have fit perfectly in the Rocky-like chef training montage. You know what pairs well with cardio, limited space, busy schedule? Yes, jumping jacks! At least give them their own vignette. Come on, Itami! (The director of this film. He is now dead, so that isn't really a statement directed directly to him, just more of an in general statement.) 1/10. Not recommended.

I also jumped in on the popular culture bandwagon and watched the newest episode of Game of Thrones (2011- ). There are a lot of characters to keep sorted! It almost reminded me of the heydays of activity here on FNB. Almost. Given that the former and latter episodes in the series remain unconfirmed for jumjax™ activity (or the lack thereof), and IMDb--while incredibly gracious hosts--are slightly limiting for our particular database desires via their inability to notate individual episodes in lists, vis-a-vis, this will have to mark the first partial notation for our database as it currently exists. Season 8, Episode 1: no jumping jacks. Series rating: 1/10. Not recommended at this moment (rating may change if narrative builds to something more dynamic in future episodes). 

That's all for now.

xxoo, always yours

-Frank