Honesty

Honesty is a good policy, which is why I am going to be honest with you, my loyal readers. I did not post yesterday. I have been pacing back and forth and nearly ripping out all my hair wondering and wandering.

I have been going through Noisevember with an anxiety. This anxiety is connected to the fact that a few of my bands sent out demo tapes to music producers and record companies in the last week of Rocktober/Inktober and the first week of Noisevember. (The demos were for the bands Saints and Spiders and As the Stone Flies in particular, but I did mention to the various producers and record companies that these band names are not yet definitive and could still change.) Long story short, I hadn't heard anything back about these demos I sent out. Not even an email saying: "Hello! Thank you for your demos. At this time we aren't interested in representing you, but we appreciate what you have created and the effort you took to reach out to us. Keep creating. Love, [name], representative of [x company]." I received nothing of the sort. I received silence.

Hearing nothing hurt. I thought about how I would rather celebrate NOvember than No-Noisevember. But apparently I didn't get the memo about No-Noisevember (since I got the silence treatment).

Then I realized something else... I remembered the allegory of the spider in the cell, and I had an epiphany that, in this instance, I had created my own cell. These music demos; this desire for a record deal; this nervousness about big labels liking my music--I had shackled myself.

Now I say this: forget about the noise, forget about the lack of noise. Put that aside. Did we not just celebrate all the incredible things for which to be thankful? We've got a digital zine to enjoy and a year of blogging to reflect on--the ups and the downs. This is our the road trip of life ©. Are we going to sit stagnant in the car, out of gas? Or get out and push.

Settle in and enjoy the scenery.

-Frank